A Winding Journey to Locs

Now that you’ve heard plenty about my journey back to natural hair, I’d like to delve into the journeys of some other beautiful black women, who have embraced or re-embraced the glorious texture that God gave their hair. Each journey will be unique. However, all will lead to the same destination—back to nature. So let’s get started.

This first journey is near and dear to my heart. Not only did this particular story take the traveler back to her roots, but back to mine, as well. Read on to find out how, or select the audio link below to hear the interview.

Mimi (Mom in this case):  You were one of my first inspirations, because of your winning college scholarship application on “My Natural Hair Care Journey”.  So, I’m just going to ask you a few questions, and you give me your feedback.

Ashley:  Okay, Lady (endearing nickname we have for each other)

Me:  What’s your overall hair story?  Give me a brief synopsis of it.

Ashley:  So, I am natural now.  I’ve had locs for about 4 years.  But, over the years, I’ve been through a variety of hair changes.  When I was younger, I did have a relaxer.  That was because I was what you can call tender headed, and I had some thick and curly hair.  For a long time, I remember going to the hair shop, getting relaxers, and getting it styled in little cute ways.  But, around the time that I was hmm, I can’t remember the specific year, but I remember you had a 70’s themed birthday party, and I really, really wanted to wear two puff balls in my hair.  You had to explain to me that I could not get that style because I had a chemical relaxer in my hair.  I was so distraught!  I tried and tried.  We tried to comb it out and make it all wild-looking, but it still came out looking like two crazy ponytails, at the end of the day.  That was my inspiration to go natural. 

Around middle school age, I told you that I really wanted to do it (go natural).  I grew out my hair for months and months without getting the relaxer touched up at the roots, but still with the relaxer on the ends.  When my natural roots got long enough, I cut off the relaxed ends.  In high school, I kept it in a lot of natural twisted hairstyles.  It would shrink up, so every once in a while, I would get it straightened out with a hot comb so you could see the length of it.  When I went away to college, I was free to wear my hair in all its glorious natural state as an afro.  I started playing around with all these hairstyles, and as the time went on, I had this really strong urge to cut all of my hair off.  At the time, certain influences in my life weren’t real sure about the natural in general, and they really weren’t sure about the short natural.  So, in respect of that, I ended up briefly going back to a relaxer, just so I could cut my hair really short, and then once I graduated and got out on my own—paying my own bills—then I went back natural again and kept it at a fade, for a really long time [laughter].  And that is my natural hair story.

Me:  Until you decided to grow these locs out.

Ashley:  Exactly, exactly

Me:  I’m gonna throw a little extra question in here that I didn’t have on my list.  How did you transition from the fade to the locs?

Ashley:  When I started out, I was afraid of what they call the “ugly stage;” where I’d have the really short coils all over my head; so I started growing my hair out into a TWA (teeny weeny afro) and I would just wear it like that for a while.  But then I decided, yeah, I may as well go ahead and start the loc journey, because I don’t want my hair to break off (and stuff like that).  Once I got a few inches, enough to start some coils, I did that (started my loc journey).  Every once in a while, I would still add in extensions, just so I could feel—you know—a little more feminine [laughing]—more pretty with my teeny weeny hair.  That’s how they started, and amazingly enough, once they reached what is call the budding stage—when they’ve started to lock up, and you see that the ends have swollen a little—once it reached there, they started growing pretty fast.  Up until recently, I was going to get it re-twisted at a hair shop.  I shopped around different hair styles until I found one that I really liked.  But, since quarantine, I’ve been forced to try to re-twist it myself—really get more involved with my hair.  I’ve never been too confident with my hair, which is why I loved the fade so much, because all I had to do was cut it off every two weeks.  Now, I’m starting to get more confident about doing my own hair.

Me:  It’s definitely a journey, isn’t it?

Ashley:  For sure!  For sure!  I’m still learning.  I still probably don’t do as much as I should be doing to it.

Me:  You’re doing a good job—it looks good!

Ashley:  Thanks!

Me:  So, you kind of answered my next questions, which was do you style your own hair?

Ashley:  Yes, the world has forced my hand [laughing], so I have been retwisting it.  A couple times, I have crinkled or curled it by myself.  This last time, I did go to the shop and get it curled, because I like how it comes out better, and because I have yet to get my own at-home hair dryer.  It’s just a different type of process when you don’t have a dryer on hand.

Me:  Do you mean a hood dryer?

Ashley:  Well, that or a bonnet dryer that someone talked about to me.  I might try that out.  I saw one, and it didn’t seem to be too expensive, so I might go ahead and purchase a bonnet dryer.

Me:  Alright…

Ashley:  Oh, and I definitely don’t do color on myself!  That’s another thing.

Me:  You don’t do your own color?

Ashley:  No, not at all.  Too advanced for me [more laughter]

Me:  So, I think you’re answering all of my questions before I get to them, because the next one is, prior to the pandemic, did you style your own hair or have someone else to style it?

Ashley:  Oh yeah, I definitely had someone else to style it prior to the pandemic.  Like I said, I am super timid about my own hair.  I was never one of those girls, growing up, who were super into learning how to do hair.  I think I was obsessed with learning how to cornrow at one point during adolescence, but I really wasn’t able to do it on myself well, and I really just didn’t feel confident doing my own hair styles.  Especially, with the relaxed hair, because you know how people talk about “laying down your edges” and all that stuff.   I was such a novice.  I wore a bun or a ponytail ninety percent of the time I was in high school.   Yeah, it was rough [hearty laughter]

Me:  I thought you just liked the bun [laughing]

Ashley: Just didn’t know what to do with it.

Me: A lot of people are like that. A lot of people…yes.

Me:  Next question, what is your curl type?  Do you know your curl type?

Ashley:  Honestly, I don’t.  I assume that it’s 4c, but I honestly don’t know.  When I went off to college, I fell in love with my hair.  I know some people were weirded out by that, but [laughing] I would just look at it in the mirror—look at all the curls, and I was just amazed at how it reacted to water and things like that.  So, I know what is in the front of my head is probably remnants of being relaxed for so long, it’s not as tight a coil pattern as the back, but overall there are still tight coils across my head.  It’s just that the front is a little bit looser than the back.  Yeah, I’m not sure if I’ve labeled it correctly, but I’m pretty sure it’s 4c.

Me:  I’m going to jump back to something that you said earlier; which was that now, post pandemic, you are styling your own hair, but you went and got your most recent curls done by someone else.  My question is, did they also twist it, or did they just curl the locs for you?

Ashley:  Oh, they twisted and curled it.  I just got it all done at the same time.  Yeah, save time.

Me:  Yeah.  You’ve gotta do that sometimes.  I get it.

Ashley:  [laughing]

Me:  Okay, so [laugh] maybe I need to re-order my questions, because, somehow, I think you’ve answered them all in your overview.  I’m gonna have to put that question last.  My next question was how did you wear your hair, as a child?

Ashley:  Well, I can answer that, or go deeper into that.  When I was in kindergarten and elementary school, I went through the whole phase that every little black girl has to go through where I had the pigtails with the bobbles on them.  In addition to that, my mom [YOU! Laughing] used to give me braid extensions with the burned ends, with styles like short bobs and cute other styles. I especially liked going to get the long extensions during the summer.  It would make me feel really pretty and very feminine, and all that stuff.  So, I was very into the braids, and what are now called the protective styles.  That was a big part of my younger years, and also as I got older—over the summers—I would always look forward to getting Senegalese twists or styles like that.  We already mentioned that, as I got older, for lack of knowing how to do my hair, there were a lot of buns involved, and a lot of ponytails.  Then twists in high school, and hot comb styles, as well.

Me:  Mmhm, so here’s a little “aside” question, which we don’t want to go too deep into, so that we don’t get caught up in emotions.*  Do you remember how I got started doing those braids in your hair?

Ashley:  No, I don’t actually [laughing]

Me:  You were a fairly easy-going little girl.  You wouldn’t necessarily say “I don’t want it” or “I do want it” so, because it’s hard doing little girls’ hair every day, when add-in braids came into style, I took you to Anika, and she put braids in your hair.  I sat and watched for hours while she braided your hair.  When we came home, and you decided to crawl under the bed for something, and one of the braids got caught in the springs or coils under the bed and it pulled right off!  I told myself, I’m not going back over there to get that replaced.   I had just sat there and watched for hours while she put those in and watched how she crossed the small batches of hair, and I said “let me see if I can put this braid back in her hair.” I had the leftover hair.  I was able to do it, though it was a little fatter and weirder than the others ones.  I realized, Wow! I can do this!  So, that’s how I started doing your protective braids.

Ashley:  Nice

Me:  Okay, so that was an “aside.”  So, what is or was your preferred hairstyle, and why?

Ashley:  Like, overall?

Me:  yeah, out of all of your styles?

Ashley:  I would have to say what I have now—the locs.  It’s just that, as they’ve grown—and it could just be the place in life that I am now—but, as they’ve grown, I’ve seen how they’ve filled out.  Especially, when I curl them up, like they are right now.  I feel most myself with my locs.  I love to say it looks like a mane—I feel like a lion or lioness with my locs.  I feel more powerful and strong.  I’ve been through so many hair styles that I feel like I’ve finally found the right fit for me.  Although, the fade is always still on the table, but…[laughter]

Me:  Yes, I know what you mean [laughing].  I agree.  Okay, what is the most challenging aspect of caring for your hair?

Ashley: I think it’s . . . just time.  So, of course with me doing it more now, the burden is more on me to do it.  and so, I know at certain times—especially in the pandemic—I just feel drained or too out-of-sorts mentally, to take care of it like I should; which I think is pretty normal in the current atmosphere.  Just sitting there for two hours, twisting it from the back to the front can just be . . .   You just don’t feel like doing it sometimes, and then you just push it back and push it back, and now it’s been months since you’ve touched your hair [laughing].   So, time and mental preparation of doing the re-twist is the hardest part, because I do have to care.  It’s a labor of love and patience to work with it.

Me:  Yes.  I think a lot of people might agree with that.  Okay, well we’re down to my last question, unless I think of another “aside” question.  How do you select your haircare products?

Ashley: Well, I guess with my most recent beauty supply store haul, I was specifically looking for products that were black-owned; so, I got the Taliah Waajid loc gel, shampoo, and conditioner.  Prior to that, I was just asking around [to] other people who had locs—what they had used before.  I’ve been seeing a lot of stuff on social media about beauty brands and the ethicality of them, as well as who their CEOs are, and a lot of them that sell to us don’t look like us.  So, what are we really putting in our hair, if somebody is running a company who doesn’t really know our hair?  I’m trying to be a little bit more mindful.  I’d love to do something all natural.  When that comes, when I find that all-natural product, I’ll switch.  But, for now I’m trying to do the black-owned thing.

Me:  Now you’ve just made me wonder… your hair is natural, my hair is natural, but yours is loc’d and mine is not.   You just mentioned Loc It Up gel, shampoo, and conditioner.  Have you learned that products for locs are different than products for natural hair that is not loc’d?  I imaging the gel is because you’re trying to hold them together.

Ashley:  I haven’t heard of an all-natural locking gel [that was the main thing].  Once I find out about it, I’ll use it.  In terms of everything else, I know there are a lot of people that recommend using aloe.   A lot of people recommend apple cider vinegar soaks and washes.  I think there’s definitely some overlap there, of course; like oils and things, but those are the two that kind of stick out to me when I think about it—for locs, specifically.

Me: I have to look it up, but years ago (I think it was all natural) I went to a black business expo, and there was a loc product, but the only thing is, it was geared towards men, so it had a masculine scent.

Ashley:  I don’t mind that [laughing]

Me:  I’ll find out the name.  I bought it because I like it as a natural hair care product.  I used it for a while.  I’ll have to remember the name** and let you know.  Well, thank you, Ashley.  Thank you for participating in my inaugural interview, and for being the first subject for “I Am Not My Hair.”

Ashley:  You is welcome, Lady

*Anika was a dearly loved cousin who passed away in December 2020.

**locafella is the name of the loc product